Life still goes on

Whoo..Phew...Hah...Haiz... how many other way to release my stress~ But anyway, PMR is over, and I'm half happy half sad. Happy part is because I don't have to burn midnight oil anymore and wake up with panda eyes and go sit for exam ; Sad part is I won't be going to school anymore, eventhough it was only five days in school, I enjoyed every second of it, met alot of frens again^^ Anyway chemotherapy still continues... life still goes on...

Now, my next goal is my resolution for 2010! I wanna study real hard, perfect my guitar scale, be a whole new me!! Change my lifestyle and everything and start a new life^^ Basically, just wish I can have my normal life back and enjoy every second of it!!

All the best 2 all PMR student in their PMR results!~

A real-live Nightmare

OMG, I can't believe that PMR is juz next week. urgh, the worst part is going back 2 school and seeing some friends, they might look at me and think of me like what a freak I am. whatever, juz gonna go and finish it and dissapear as soon as possible!

anyway, I had a great week last week, I went to Penang during the Raya and I enjoyed the food there soooo much, we had crab, octopus, curry mee, laksa, otak-otak and the rest of penang specialties!!~ oo, alll my saliva coming out. I am rid of steroids nw so I don't have my tummy anymore and no more puffy face!! YAY!! GOD BLESS UR ALL!!

And I gotta tell u a nightmare I had in penang, not the kind of nightmares u have when ur sleeping, this nightmare actually happens! I was in the car with my whole family, and I was eating something that I took away in the car (don't mind me, I just can't stay away from food for 1 sec^^) then suddenly a man was standing outside his store NAKED!! And when I say naked, I mean naked, like fully bare naked, which mean I can see his all his bare body parts!!!! And he doesn't gives a shit, I nearly vomitted out whatever I swallowed that day! eww!!~~

Ok, I'll stop talking bout that nw. it gives me the creep! Anyway, wishing all my frens a tremendous few more days till PMR..^^ All d best guys!!

Seeing things in a line

Been a while since I blog. Coz nothing much intresting really going on in my life rite nw except for chemotherapy. Still gotta keep bare through it! B4 I know it, it'll be over!

So.. yea, basically, I'm studyin all day n nite for PMR. And sometimes I would ask myself if I'm really ready for it. Coz there were a few of my frens in the hosp that told me its too hard for them 2 sit for exam and not go to school nor even take any tution classes! So they wouldn't mind repeating a year of studies again, but, I am someone who doesn't like to be left out! I wanna be in-line with the queue and not lettin any get 1 space in front of me. So, I guess I'll just do my best and hope god bless me every second of my life!~

Oh and one more thing, I'm back on one of my chemo medications... which is called -- steroids. The one thing I don't like about this medicine is bcoz it will make ur face puffy! U should see me the first time I took this medication, my face was like bitten by tonds of Red Ants and it looked as if like my face is swollen real badly, I looked like fat-couch-potato! But thx god, that time is over, nw.. I know it will be puffy again, juz hope it won't be too bad! Another effect of this medicine is it makes u really hungry! So, I hope I can overcome seeing delicious food and can control myself to not eat too much or not I'll have a big tummy bumping outta me!

ok, gotta go for nw. Ciao~~

What's HOT?!?!

Me and my family went to 1Utama yesterday to watch the show called "The Proposal". Before watching the show, I was thinking in my heart, "owh, another typical comedy love story, B-O-R-I-N-G" But, after watching the show, I take that back! This is one of the best comedy love story I have ever seen in this 15 years of my life!! TWO THUMBS UP FOR IT! Every second of it is so damn funny, I couldn't stick my ass to the chair, I feel like literally droppin on the floor and roll around and laugh till I lose all my teeth!! HAHA!! This is really a great show, you will not regret watching it! And you get to see Sandra Bullocks doing some stuts about "balls" in the show.. Haha, watch it and you'll know what I mean!!^^

Anyway, going back 2 HELL 2moro..haiz.. But I am realy glad at the same time because this is the last chemo for this protocol... So I just wanna get over it as soon as possible!! Wish me luck people!!~~

REALITY!

Back to reality now I guess, PMR is at the end of the road, and I think the road is only about 1km! I can almost see it and feel it! DAMN! How did it appear so fast, last I knew, I was studyin for UPSR, now PMR???

I'm stickin my small head into a big, hmm... no maybe Large, what am I sayin..It should be HUGE pile of reference book every second, and I thought a patient should be stayin home for rest or just relax and enjoy life! But me, I have to be studying extra extra super super hyper hyper More More FAST!!! HELP ME~~

ok, no time to blog anymore, gotta go..God bless u all...

p.s thx my sis for helpin me out in maths...I'm real bad in it!!

Unforgettable Sentences

Just came back from HELL a few days ago, didn't had the chance to blog coz was soo damn weak and tired after chemotherapy. But anyway, all better now and gonna start updating my blog again!^^ Took a trip to Ipoh to chill out for a little after coming back from HELL, my dad always says the water over in Ipoh is cleaner, the air is fresher, the food is nicer and cheaper... blablabla. So I decided to chill out in Ipoh for a few days, now back in Puchong...My so call "Maddie's sty" hehe!

Anyway, I wanna share a good news! I went back 2 HELL again 2day just for checkups. And I had real good reviews!!!! The doctors said that I'm currently in remission stage which means that there are no cancer cells in my body anymore, I felt like jumping off the chair and hug her so badly when she said that! But well, in any way of remission, there is always a slight chance that it can come back again, as in the cancer cells may come back and haunt me again! So, what I have to do now is to keep my body strong and healthy by eating more nutritionous food, gotta say goodbye to all my favourite sweets and all the yummy gummy bears that I love! T_T And say hello to bittergourd and many other anti - cancerous food. haiz.. But if this can help me be the Madeleine I was once, I would eat it every single second even if I get choked or watever! Oh, and the best is, the doctor said my chemotherapy will last for another 5 months, yeah, that's right 5 FREAKING MONTH!!!!

OMG, I must go thx god right now, thx for everybody support, I won't forget anyone of you who ever help me and supported me and gave me strength to get through this horrible stage! Last but not least, I wanna thx my family for being with me all the way no matter what happen! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

p.s and not to forget my beloved puppy -- Jasper, for cheering me up when I'm down!

When will these end?!?!?!

Has my life come to an end??

Finally came the day that I wished it never comes! its the night b4 the day I go to HELL aka HOSPITAL!! My chemotherapy is due 2moro and I will have to stay in HELL for at least 4 days, and that would be if my blood counts are good, or not I might have to stay for 5 - 6 days! It really really really do sucks! I dunno how to express this feeling in me, but I just know that you don't want to know how that feels!! Enjoy ur life out there people, you guys are so lucky, I hate going through this stage of life! I wanna be like everyone else who go through the stage where you get to go to school and get scoldings from teacher, get to flirt with boys^^ or even be a loner in school... Rather than having to go to HELL at least once every week!! ok, I'm just too mad at I have no ideo what, I just wish these would be over soon so that I can have my life back!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK SO BADLY!!!

I have to cool down now, I'll just go to bed now. Please let me have a very sweet dream tonight! as sweet as candies so that I will never wake up and don't have to go through this stage of life..EVER!! I can only count on god now, he's my only beloved hope!! ok, will go to bed now, wish me luck tomorrow!!! God bless you all~~